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Chat about a loaded theme that no one wants to talk about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on ever since ancient times. Extramarital relationships can be loaded with troubles, cause sadness, and other problems. In addition you have to wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty thing, money, age difference, faith education, remorse, and on and on. I suppose there will be some strong opinions about some of this.

For the intention of this article I should define an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other wives/husbands, discteet married dating.

Why do married people have extramarital affairs? There are as many answers as there are seeking affair. I am conserned generally though it is only the human condition, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few explanations I have run across.

Physically we as humans are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is pleasant and exciting, and sex makes us escape the world for a short period of time. This ecstasy exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Some people can switch the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and old, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the pursue. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the desire to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the entire romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they prevail over the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For many individuals the yearnings will beat their fears and make them risk the fury of not only their relatives, but society as well. So why, what is the mechanism?

Sex Addicts, possibly some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically motivated sex addicts and can find away to have sex and not harm your spouse or anybody else? You will need to reduce the hazard you are taking. If you have the attitude that a good affair is one that is advantageous to everybody, then good luck.

No love at home, or no romance. I suppose this is the major group, colossal in fact. There are many couples whose marriage is over, apart from they are comfy in the way they live, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your other half but there is no romance. Also there are the kids to think about. Your savings are so tangled. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live as a family besides love and sex.

Bodily reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them implementing the sex operation, at least not with their spouse. An affair occasionally solves the trouble while keeping the marriage uharmed.

Avoidance, sadly this is a common cause I fear. One or the other, generally the husband is sexually neglecting his female for a number of reasons. As a male I really appreciate you guys neglecting your wives and making them obtainable to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” Though I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Then there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but malevolent.

Something is just misplaced in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a lack of love, could be compassion is vanished, maybe it is the closeness, maybe neglect. Maybe we have just developed apart, our relulas interests diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is conflicting of what you want. Maybe I simply don’t know what I want from the marriage anymore. Maybe, just maybe I miss that feeling that when I am with you, it just feels right.

The major reason people give is, they seek the excitement that is missing and so very much longed for.

There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for economic gain, for retribution and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.